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Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Hell in a Pinterest Inspired Hand Basket

So here we are on Wednesday.  My kids are in Vermont, my husband is at work and I have the whole day off.  I have big plans for today.  They involve closing my curtains, popping in a movie and not doing a damn thing all day.  I NEVER get days like this and I plan to take full advantage of doing nothing.  I need to relax and refresh before Patriots Training Camp starts tomorrow and it is all out kiddies at the restaurant and double shifts for me.

Of course before I do nothing I had to check Pinterest.  I can't get my day started without it, it is a bit obsessive.  I saw a post on that I knew I would have to blog about.  It reminds me that yes, I am going to hell in a very nice, pinterest inspired hand basket.

Yup, I am guilty of this.

After seeing this it got me thinking about all the less than wonderful things I have done in my life.  I really do try to be a good person.  I make my kids go to CCD (for those of you non Catholics that is religious education) although we rarely go to church (sorry Brother Sean).  I volunteer my time in various things.  I bring my 98 year old grandmother her medication and quarts of milk when my aunt isn't around to do it.  I have stood by my husband's side through various crap that most wives wouldn't.  And I am raising two little boys with having jumped off a cliff or thrown them over.

But let's be serious, I am far from perfect.  And that little gem of a Pinterest pin reminded me of it.  Yes, I have commented with my friends about another friend's really ugly kid.  Yes, I felt bad about it but honestly, it was the parents fault.  They really could have done things to help this poor kid out.  She probably could be really cute if they just did a little grooming, or waxing.  Ok, I am so going to hell.  But at least my friends will be there with me, oh and my mom, she was in on it too.

Then there is the foot spa incident.  I really had forgotten about that until my best friend's pain in the ass daughter reminded me about it, several times, in the last two weeks.  A few years ago when I was putting my bags in my car after a trip to Walmart I noticed a Foot Spa in a cart. This cart was in the middle of about fifty other carts all stacked up together.  It wasn't in a bag but it was still in the box, brand new.  I personally don't know why it was there but it had been there for a while, hence it being in the middle of fifty carts.  I pulled the carts apart and picked up the foot spa.  Clearly it was left there for me for my poor aching feet.  I am a waitress and lunch lady after all.  In the car it went. 

Add about another 40 carts to this and you will see why I truly believed this Spa had been there for a long time, waiting for me.

The friend I had with me on this shopping trip told me I was a bad person for doing this.  My best friend told me that karma was going to get me.  Then there was the troll, oops I mean other friend, no, I mean troll that told me that I did the right thing and it was finders keepers.  I should have listened to my best friend as she is the one that is always right.  I don't remember how karma did get me as it was a few years ago but I remember when it did she was there to remind me why.

I have still never used the damn thing, I feel too guilty.  My husband loves it though.

I have a whole list of other things that would probably send me to hell but I am afraid that my nephew who is a Catholic brother will disown me if he knew so I am going to leave you all hanging.  Plus, I have a redbox rental and a chicken patty sandwich calling my name right now.  The one comforting thing that I have is that you will all probably be right there with me (except Brother Sean that is).


  1. As I am standing at the gates of Hell, I shout "Welcome Heather! Come join us over here at table 666 and we can look at all the ugly baby pictures we want!"

    CCD, I did CCD, but (I think I mentioned this before) we called it Central City Dump. I only did it for my grandmother, now I am a fallen Catholic.

    I too am guilty of seeing an ugly kid and stuttering the phrase, "Wow,, looks just like you."

    1. HAHA we called it Central City Dump too! To this day I have no idea what it actually stands for. My kids do it because I feel the need for them to have the same experience I did as a child. Lucky them.

      I will have to use the "They look just like you phrase next time"

    2. Hey by the way, stop on over and grab your Rocking' Blogger Award!

  2. You never told me about the foot tub. I think you are forgiving now that you have come clean with everyone. Did you know that there is actually a medical abbreviation for ugly babies....I'm serious, you can go look it up. It's called FLK - it means funny looking kid.

    I used to be an aunt to an FLK. I remember walking into the hospital room to see her. She had this long ass lizard tongue and weird shaped face. I couldn't even bring myself to say she was cute...bad auntie -> See there's my bad karma, I'm no longer her

    No ones perfect. Next time I see an FLK, I'm going to use "Wow, he looks just like you."

    1. If I can remember correctly Jenn, you were in on my ugly kids experience and you thought the same as me, lol. And I think I know exactly who you are talking about with yours.

  3. Nuh huh! If someone abandons a poor defenseless foot spa in a parking lot, then it's your responsibility to take it and give it a good home! You totally did the right thing!

  4. LMAO, because my middle DD wasn't the prettiest newborn by a long shot. She ended up being a cute toddler and young child, then slipped backwards in her late tween years. Now she's teen, and is breaking out of her shell. It's kind of amazing how that works...her aunt calls them the fugly years, with no malice because she went through it too. :-)

  5. Hopefully, hell's a pretty empty place. ;)

  6. Since you're already going to hell, you might as well use the foot spa. At least you'll have clean & relaxed feet when you get there.

  7. I can relate, I already have one foot in the door, we'll welcome you to Hell w/ the rest of us. We'll get out the wine, bitch about other people's ugly kids, and all kinds of really bad stuff. Pretty soon Hell will get sick of us and throw us out.