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Sunday, February 26, 2012

Goodbye February Vacation, Welcome Back Sanity.

I am rejoicing in the fact that in about 12 hours my little cherubs will be back in school.  I don't know who invented February Vacation but they deserve to be shot.  Honestly, is it too much to ask that the kids actually attend school for more than seven weeks before they get another vacation?  How is that preparing them for the real world where you get two weeks off in a year, if you are lucky?  I personally think that Disneyworld pays the schools to have the vacation so they can reap the benefits.

February is the worst time to have a vacation for those of us who can't afford to jet off someplace warm.  It is cold and gross and that means trying to find indoor things to do for a week or else sit in the house with bored kids.  My best friend has kids that are the same age as mine so usually we could do playdates all week.  However, she decided to be a bitch and drive the kids to Florida for the week.  Thanks Jessica.  I will get even with her when I send my kids to Vermont with my parents over April vacation (obviously I like April vacation much better).  Thankfully my cousin and her kids stayed around this week, oh no, wait, her kids went and got sick.  Thanks Jenn.

So here is a rundown of the week from hell.

Saturday-  Not too bad, my eldest had a basketball game in the morning then I worked at night.  Starting the week off good.

Sunday- Fish Tank Hell, check out my post about that last week, Welcome to the Doghouse.

Monday-  We were supposed to have a playdate with cousin Jenn and her kids. She cancelled, thus leaving me with seriously disappointed kids.  My husband was home because of President's Day and he decided the fish tank we got the day before wasn't good enough so we went and bought another one.  I am still pissed about that one, especially because 4 of the 6 fish we bought were now dead.  And what did he do with the dead fish?  He scooped them out and left them on the table next to the tank!  WTF!!  Not a good way to get yourself out of the doghouse and back into my bed!

Tuesday-  Open playspace at It's Too Cool.  This place really isn't very cool.  It is small and dark and the kids get bored real quick.  We went with a friend of mine and her kids because I had to get the kids out of the house.  My oldest was complaining after about a half hour.  Thankfully, after that I dropped them with the sitter and went to work so I could deal with other parents who had obnoxious kids they had to get out of the house.  Did I mention that I hate working over February vacation?

Wednesday-  Oh boy, Chuck E Cheese day!  My dear cousin cancelled on me yet again.  I mean seriously, would one more kid puking on the giant rat really make a difference?  But I went down with another friend and her kids.  I also was babysitting while another friend could do Jury Duty.  Honestly, I would have paid to have had Jury Duty that day.  The kids burned through tokens so fast I thought they were swallowing the damn things.  We ate crappy pizza, watched many examples of bad parenting and were annoyed by the giant rat.  When I was at work the night before I told my boss we were going there.  He told me about the Hispanic cook that used to work for him that had a second job.  He was the man in the Chuckie costume.  All I could think about when I saw Chuckie on this day was my boss doing his impression of the cook.  "These fucking kids, they all want to see the fucking rat!!!  Then these fucking kids, they all kick me in the Huevos!"  I still chuckle just thinking of him saying that.  Of course that meant I had to send at least one kids to do it, right?

Thursday-  Bowling day with my cousin.  Oh no wait, she cancelled on me AGAIN!!!!  She is lucky I am still talking to her at this point.  We end up at Kidsports, a place I hate more than any other kids place around.  It is made for young kids and mine usually get bored.  But they were doing Laser Tag as a way to bring the older kids in, plus a couple of my friends were going so off we went.  Oh and did I mention my cancelling cousin asked me to bring her non sick kid with me.  She is so lucky I love her (and by her I mean her kid).  After about two hours of laser tag hell I took off.  I couldn't stand it anymore. 

Friday-  Time for my yearly pipe cleaning at the OBGYN.  Because vacation couldn't get any better, right?  Only when I went in and got all undressed I was informed that thanks to Obama's new health care plan I can only get one every three years now.  Well, if I get cancer Mr. President, I am personally holding you responsible.  What is that all about?  Saving a few bucks at the risk of our lives.  So not cool!

Saturday- My parents were here, they occupied the kids!!!  Love them!

Sunday-   Bought more fish today since we only had one left.  Oh and a new heater cause the tank was too cold.  Went to 5 different pet stores to find fish my husband approved of.  Did I mention that he is seriously in deep shit.  Good thing I gave up sex for lent.

Thankfully now the kids are in bed.  Tomorrow it will all be over.  I don't even mind that I have to go back to Lunch Lady Land.  I can now dream about April Vacation.  The week that my kids will be in Vermont with my parents.  51 more days!


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  2. First. The dead fish next to the tank would've been my Mister's dinner that night! DIS.GUSTING!

    Second, I have to ask. Are you an alcoholic?? Because, TRUST ME, between the pigeons and all the kiddie activities, cancelling cousins and to top it all off a visit to the crotch doc?????? I WOULD BE!!!!

    Vacation??? You were trapped in Mommy Hell!

    I'd be camping over night at the school..
    Just sayin'.

    1. Just dropped them off! I am so freaking estatic right now. My hell is over.

  3. I remember when I was young we celebrated Presidents Day! DAY, not week. Now in our school district it is Presidents WEEK!!!

    The only part of it that I do enjoy is the NO carpool for 5 days!

    My husband likes to leave strange things on the counter too. It is like the mature part of their brain reaches a quota for the day, and has to turn off. ;)

    Chuck E Cheese? I won't even start about that headache!

  4. I was just thinking about writing about spring break on my blog. Our districts is a week in March and I can never understand why my or anyone else's children need a week off right after they just got 2 weeks off for Christmas/New Year's, then President's day, short days Tuesday through Thursday and Friday off. We really are setting them up for failure it seems.

    1. I think it would be better to do one vacation in MArch rather than having them in both February and April. Plus then they get the whole summer off. I am a lunch lady and I hate the vacations cause I don't get paid.

  5. Too funny!!! I feel your pain. When my oldest is home from school she expect constant entertainment. I am SOOO jealous of your upcoming April vacation...that sounds heavenly:)

    1. Oh I can't wait. I do luck out on vacations a lot of the time because my parents live 4 hours away and always want to take the kids when they are off. They take them over Christmas break (after Christmas Day that is) and then in April and for a couple of weeks in the summer. On the other hand, it stinks because I get no help the rest of the time because they are far away and my inlaws are in Ireland.