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Sunday, February 19, 2012

Welcome to the Doghouse!!!!!

My husband is so in the doghouse right now.  And he better find a way to dig himself out soon before I make his life a living hell.  I am really good at that.  I have had fourteen years of practice.

It all started this morning when he asked me to drive him to his Pigeon Club to get seed.  Yes, my husband doesn't drive and yes, he belongs to a Pigeon Club.  He races homing pigeons but that is a story for another day.  No problem, I get out of bed, get dressed, load the family into the car and off we go.  He gets his seed and then we head home.  Only the trip home took a bit longer than expected.
This is a baby pigeon, lucky me, we have about 100 of them right now.
So the husband asks me if we could stop at Petco to see if they had Sunflower Hearts.  Yes, the $100 worth of seed wasn't enough, now we had to get other crap that is about 10 bucks and ounce.  Seeing that I didn't have 50 loads of laundry to do, or a house to clean, lunch to make, groceries to get and the fact that it is my only day off every week, I said sure.  I turn the car around and off we go.

My youngest son loves animals and has been begging me for the last year for a pet.  He in the past has had hermit crabs, fish, hamsters, and a couple of dogs.  Currently we have about 200 pigeons and 10 chickens.  Do you think these count as pets?  Oh no, he wants a "real" pet.  I have been saying no but for some reason my husband thought today was a good day to get a fish.

To me a fish is a Betta, or Siamese Fighting Fish, whichever you prefer.  They are cheap, can live in a five dollar bowl with no filter or heater and are easy to take care of.  It seems my husband has other ideas of what pet fish are.  He starts looking at all these ridiculously expensive aquariums (we have gone past the tank straight to the aquarium).  I ask him just what he is planning on putting in this aquarium and he responses "Guppies".  Seriously, a fifty dollar aquarium for a couple of guppies?  Then he explains that guppies breed often and in great numbers so we need the big tank.  I am thinking that the last thing we need is a zillion guppies. 

My husband is an animal breeding maniac.  I think it is a disease.  When we first bought our house he bought a pair of zebra finches.  That pair turned into about fifty little mouths to feed.  Then he bought canaries, same thing.  At one point we had about 150 birds in the basement.  He has a big plan to sell them all.  Well, pet stores rarely buy from breeders they don't know and the few we sold didn't even come close to covering our costs.  Then he bought a pair of English Springer Spaniels.  He was going to make so much money selling the puppies.  One dog turned out to be a biter and the other had cancer.  Bye Bye puppies.  Now it is the pigeons, and soon we will be running a guppy mill.

To get back to today, I managed to get him out of Petco but only if I agreed to see if we could find a cheaper tank at Walmart.  We zip over to Walmart and the only tank that was good enough for him had a crack.  I was hoping this was the end of it but no such luck.  Next thing I know we are on our way to Building 19, which is about four towns away from where we were.  I was quite content with the seven dollar plastic tank that would hold the ten dollar filter and eight dollar heater.  He on the other hand, not so much.  He suggested we go to the Walmart that was near where we were now and maybe they have an uncracked tank.

We trudge over to Walmart (oh and the kids at this point are just about as fed up as I am) and sure enough, no tank.  Then it was to a different Petco, which I walked out of because I wasn't paying their prices.  I managed to convince him to get the damn plastic tank.  So back to Building 19 it is.  I still ended up paying almost fifty bucks for everything needed, I was not happy about that one.  At this point I was even willing to pay more money for the ferret that the kids really want, as least a ferret is fun.  Fish are a waste of fifty bucks.

I am now thinking that we are done.  We can go home, he can set the damn thing up and we can worry about the fish tomorrow.  Again, he had other ideas.  He said we had to get the fish today because otherwise the kids would be upset.  Really, the kids or you?  I was sick of fighting so we stop and buy the damn guppies and some food.  Another fifteen bucks down the drain.  Finally we get to go home.

I sit down to write my blog about how pissed I was at him when he says he needs help setting everything up.  Seriously, it's a fish tank, read the directions.  So now another hour of my day off is sucked up because he put water that was too cold in, the filter wasn't hooked up right and I am now freaking that my fifteen dollars worth of fish are going to die in a plastic bag. 

ok that is a lie, I made him take us out), do laundry, pack his lunch for tomorrow, clean up the house, shower and get the kids ready for bed,  My day off is over, I am tired.  I was hoping to knock out a good half of the second book in the Hunger Games series today but with how I feel I will probably go fall asleep watching Once Upon a Time.  I hope I can at least plot my revenge in my dreams.


  1. Oh man! That is too funny.

  2. Sometimes on my day off, I will wake up to a list of things my husband needs me to do. Basically his errands.

    On his day off, he does Day Off kind of stuff, but it is never the stuff he needs to do.

    I so know what you were feeling. You had one idea of how your day was going to go, and then BAM! Husband steps in!

    I also need to start on Hunger Games. My best friend is dying about the fact I have not started on it yet.

    1. Well, we woke up with a dead fish today and my husband hates the filter so it was off to Walmart this morning to get another one. So much for getting things done again this morning.

      I loved the first Hunger Games book, am only about 50 pages into the second. I am enjoying it very much and can't wait for the movie. It is not as good as Twilight but I am still loving it.

  3. What is it about men and breeding is ridiculous. We have gone through all sorts of ducks (those babies are stinky and I made him sell all of them after one breeding season), peacocks (I actually like them and their babies can be tamed), chickens (yeah...lots of eggs, but messy), oscars (stupid, ugly fish), dogs (our golden and labradoodle...cute puppies, but a mess I will not deal with ever again...they are both now fixed), and now we are onto bearded dragons and the roaches to feed them (we just started so I can't say how this little fiasco will go). I don't understand why my husband feels like we can't have just one pet...we always have to get two and they ALWAYS breed. We are lucky that we live on 8 acres and very rarely are any of them in our house, but the fish, lizard, and dogs are in the house.

    I so feel your pain and empathize with you on the breeding.

    1. Oh we had the ducks at one point too. We had Mascovy ducks which are huge and ugly. They are supposed to be very good to eat and they go for about 80 bucks. I hated them. We called the male Sir Poops a Lot because that is all he did. Thankfully they never "got it on" and we gave them to my husbands friend who did eventually bread them. You are lucky that you at least have 8 acres. We live on a quarter acre.

  4. i will have to think on that one H