As I always like to remind you all, I am a waitress. I always also like to point out that most of the time it sucks. But there are some times that it REALLY sucks. One of those times is when you have been working a very long day with no break and you are almost ready to go home but you can't. Why can't you leave you ask? Because there is that one fucking table that just won't get the hell out.
On behalf of all waiters and waitresses out there I have decided it is my duty to point out the signs that you have overstayed your welcome. Although most people are smart enough to pick up on these, there are some that are just too dense or too rude to pay attention to these signs and exit the premises.
1) You look around you and realize that every other table in the restaurant is empty. Unless you are at a very unpopular place this is a good indicator that it is time to go.
2) You try to order dessert after sitting with nothing but a water in front of you for four hours but can't because the kitchen is closed. If you have stayed longer than the kitchen guys and you are in an actual restaurant and not a bar, get the hell out!
3) Your server told you it was last call two hours ago. Hmm, no more alcohol, who would want to stay? Get up and go to the after hours club, buddy.
4) The cleaning crew had arrived and is vacuuming the carpets all around you. Can you really keep talking over the roar of the vacuum and why would you want to? Bye Bye, time to go.
5) The lights either go way up or are turned off. The adjusting of lighting is a universal sign for "We want you to go home so we can go home".
6) The only other person you have seen in the last hour is your server and they have been shooting you dirty looks. That is because everybody else has left. You are subjecting your poor server to agony as they are watching the minutes drag by as he or she can't fathom how yet again the stupidest people on earth are sitting at their table. Please people, get the point and just go!
7) You get a visit from the manager requesting you to depart. The worst about this is that there are actual people who will not get up to move at this point. They just sit there continuing on their conversation. Managers really don't take this step unless they have to. Restaurants and bars can get fined for having people inside once they pass the time on there liquor license. Ignorant SOB's GO THE FUCK HOME!
So there you have it. I am sure I missed a few but I am sure I got the point across. And if by any chance you know a douche bag who just doesn't get it, send them my way, I would be happy kick their ass.