Search This Blog

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Get the Hell Out!!!!

As I always like to remind you all, I am a waitress.  I always also like to point out that most of the time it sucks.  But there are some times that it REALLY sucks.  One of those times is when you have been working a very long day with no break and you are almost ready to go home but you can't.  Why can't you leave you ask?  Because there is that one fucking table that just won't get the hell out.

On behalf of all waiters and waitresses out there I have decided it is my duty to point out the signs that you have overstayed your welcome.  Although most people are smart enough to pick up on these, there are some that are just too dense or too rude to pay attention to these signs and exit the premises.

1) You look around you and realize that every other table in the restaurant is empty.  Unless you are at a very unpopular place this is a good indicator that it is time to go.

2) You try to order dessert after sitting with nothing but a water in front of you for four hours but can't because the kitchen is closed.  If you have stayed longer than the kitchen guys and you are in an actual restaurant and not a bar, get the hell out!

3) Your server told you it was last call two hours ago.  Hmm, no more alcohol, who would want to stay?  Get up and go to the after hours club, buddy.

4) The cleaning crew had arrived and is vacuuming the carpets all around you.  Can you really keep talking over the roar of the vacuum and why would you want to?  Bye Bye, time to go.

5) The lights either go way up or are turned off.  The adjusting of lighting is a universal sign for "We want you to go home so we can go home".

6) The only other person you have seen in the last hour is your server and they have been shooting you dirty looks.  That is because everybody else has left.  You are subjecting your poor server to agony as they are watching the minutes drag by as he or she can't fathom how yet again the stupidest people on earth are sitting at their table.  Please people, get the point and just go!

7) You get a visit from the manager requesting you to depart.  The worst about this is that there are actual people who will not get up to move at this point.  They just sit there continuing on their conversation.  Managers really don't take this step unless they have to.  Restaurants and bars can get fined for having people inside once they pass the time on there liquor license.  Ignorant SOB's GO THE FUCK HOME!

So there you have it.  I am sure I missed a few but I am sure I got the point across.  And if by any chance you know a douche bag who just doesn't get it, send them my way, I would be happy kick their ass.

11 comments:

  1. My kids have all worked as servers or bartenders and my daughter now owns a pub of her own.. I have heard soooo much about this industry and what you - the wait staff/servers/bartenders go thru - I ALWAYS tip big because I know the bullshit you endure.. Including but certainly not limited to, the never want to leave assholes!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well you are welcome to come dine with me anytime. I wish there were more like you.

      Delete
  2. I am guessing you get the best tips ever when they overstay their welcome too....ugh! I had a love/hate relationship with bartending...especially when it was game day. Guys park their butts all day and order food and pitchers of beers. Then it is time for their check (5 hours later) and they leave you a buck...really. They have to know that 1. it is not even 10%, 2. you have been here all day, 3. really, $1...you've got to be kidding me. I would prefer they stay home and watch the game.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh you know they are the worst tippers. You think you had it bad on game day, I work at Gillette Stadium, home of the NE Patriots, I am sure you can imagine what game day is like where I work, especially on a home game.

      Delete
  3. I have something waiting for you on my blog.. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Your post gave me flashbacks of all the assholes that have done this to me when I was waitressing. What is wrong with people and why do they think that it is okay to be rude and inconsiderate when they go out to eat? Sometimes I actually miss serving until I am reminded of all the assholes out there..Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. With the economy the way it is there are more assholes than ever.

      Delete
  5. When I used to be a server my favorite line I ever heard was, "Why do I need to tip you, you get paid a wage. I pay for my meal/drinks, that should be enough." It took all I could not to hit this guy upside the head with my tray!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hate to tell these people that if we were getting paid a livable page the meal/drinks would cost them a lot more.

      Delete
  6. I am not a waitress, but as a customer I feel for you. I have been with groups of friends, where everyone is obviously done, but some of the people keep talking. I don't know if I am just such an empathetic person, I am in tune with peoples body movements, or I am just plain NOT RUDE. But I am always the one that mentions to our friends "hey guys, we can go back to our house and talk" -or-"We have kinda been here a while. The waiter/waitress may need to end their shift" Then everyone stares at me like "shut up goody two shoes!!!
    (f.y.i.-my friends aren't awful people, they just love to talk, a little to long into the night)

    Anyway, just wanted to let you know this goody two shoes try's to help you out sometimes. ;) ...............If not, I atleast try to pool together a worthy tip for ya!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad to know there are still good people out there.

      Delete