Mega Millions Here I Come

The news keeps talking about this gigantic Mega Millions Lottery jackpot up for grab on Friday.  Last check we were at $476 million dollars.  Oh what I could do with that kind of money.  So I thought maybe if I shared my list with the world God would see my great ideas and bless me with some luck.

1) Burn my house to the ground.
     Yes you heard me, this sucker would be toast.  My house is about a million years old and poorly built.  It is a kit house from some company like Sears from back in the day.  I hate it but am stuck in it thanks to the wonderful housing market crash.  Thought it would be great for a starter house, which is was but now we have outgrown it and are stuck in hell.

2) Get the Hell Out of Massachusetts
     Yup, don't know where I would go but it certainly wouldn't be here.  Maybe buy a house in Ireland since my husband is from there and another in Vermont near my parents.  Who knows, all I know is that it will be far away from Taxachusetts and I will no longer be a Masshole.

3) Make a huge donation to charity.
     I think the Make a Wish Foundation would be first, love what they do for kids.  Then I would donate to battered women across the world and probably some cancer charity.  But I can tell you one thing, AT LEAST HALF of my money would be heading to charity.

4) Buy a new Kia
    Yes, I know, with $476 million dollars I could do a lot better than a Kia but what I can say, I love my car.  It was dirt cheap and has been great.

5) Pay off the mortgages of all of my friends and family (at least the ones I like)
    Obviously my parents would come first (oh wait, they don't have a mortgage, ugh) ok then my brother (oh wait he doesn't own a house, oh I will buy him one), of course Alan's parents and brothers and sisters (except No Balls and the other jack ass they get nothing), my bff of course and Jenn and Katie, can't leave them out.  Oh this could be expensive, oh well, I will have money to burn, right?

6) Hire a personal chef
    Yup, sick of cooking, enough said there.

7) Travel to every state in the USA
     Except New Jersey that is, who the hell would want to go there?

8) Quit both my jobs
     Yes, that probably should be first but whatever, see ya suckers.

9)Spend a lot of time volunteering
    I feel that if you are blessed you should give back.  So I will, a lot.

10) Sleep
      For at least a week straight.  I am going to hires somebody to take care of my husband and kids for a week and just sleep.  I have to catch up on ten years of minimal sleep.  Maybe I should make that two weeks, or a month.

So there you have it.  No huge goals, no greed, just a nice comfortable life.  I think I deserve that, right?  I know my chances are nil and none (especially because I haven't bought a ticket yet) but a girl has to be prepared.