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Friday, January 6, 2012

Dear UMASS you suck!!!!

I had every intention today of posting Things I just don't get Part 2.  I have a nice long list of those things I am eager to share.  However, thanks to a check of my email I had a change of plans.  Last night at about 8:45 I received a phone call from UMass Amherst.  It was one of their students calling to hit me up for money, again.  I graduated this wonderful institution in 1997 and have never looked back, not once.  I have never returned to campus nor do I ever plan to.  Well, since I am alumni the University believes that I should continue paying them every year.  I guess the $40,000 they already got from me isn't good enough for them.  They need some way to give scholarships out to spoiled kids so they can hang out at Occupy Wall Street or Occupy Boston or to basically just drink all week long, right?  So why not ask the alumni, we haven't got enough of their blood yet.

So it was 8:45, I had just gotten home from a long day.  The kids had just gone into bed and the phone rings.  Really, thanks for waking the kids bitch.  Couldn't have have called while you were hanging out in Southwest all day smoking a joint.  Once I figured out who it was I hung up.  Usually I give an amusing remark like "Oh didn't you get the $40,000 I donated between 1993 and 1997" and then hang up, but I was tired so no remark, just a click as the phone slammed down.  I didn't think about it again until I got home from work and check my email today.  This girl has some nerve.  It starts off like this:

Dear Ms. McGinley
 Thank you for taking the time to speak with me. 
    Ok When did I speak with you, did you mistake the click of the phone as me talking to you?

 I understand you are not contributing over the phone at this time but hope that in the future you will consider making a gift to UMass Amherst through our website.
   Well I am glad that you understand I am not contributing over the phone, but didn't you get the point that the click on the phone meant that I was going to be contributing at all, ever!

As a student, I realize that public education is now more important than ever and that private support is absolutely essential to ensuring the best education possible.
   Oh yes, putting myself in debt is just not cool, but I need an education so I can sit around and complain all day because I can't figure out why I can't get a great job making 6 figures right out of school with my degree in Art History .   So will you please go into debt instead, cause I am entitled, and you already got your degree so please help me out.  I would have more respect if you had said that.

Even a small gift makes a big difference.  Annual Fund participation, at any level:

* Demonstrates satisfaction with the university and a commitment to its success;
* Encourages giving from corporations and foundations;
* Enables UMass to provide scholarships, financial aid, and facility updates needed to support our students and remain competitive.
  I am a lunch lady and a waitress, even a small gift is going to make me short on my mortgage payment.  This is the real world girlfriend.   Plus, I didn't receive financial aid or scholarships, I worked hard, at a job (as did my parents) to pay for my education.

The email continued on for a bit asking me to watch some videos, but I clicked delete before I got that far.  I wish the little pain in the ass had heard that click.  So my advice to all you who have yet to graduate from college, when you do, change your number, don't forward your mail, just hide before they come looking for your wallet.

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