You want me to what?

After suffering from a sore back and shoulder for the better part of a week I decided to head to the doctor today.  It is Wednesday which means my regular doctor wasn't there and I had to go to Urgent Care.  I love the UC center at the office.  For some reason nobody ever utilizes it so I get right in.  After getting weighed in (really, is that necessary for a sore back?) and having all my vitals checked I was whisked straight into the exam room.  After explaining how I am totally out of shape yet shoveled the entire driveway by myself the doctor proceeded to poke and prod.  After about 10 minutes of annoying exercises and a chuckle from the doctor because "that is so cool, I can actually see you muscles spasming" he concluded that I had Bursitis in my shoulder and some serious strained muscles in my back and arm.  But it was what he said next that really amused me.  He said I need to get a lot of rest.

Rest, what the hell is that.  I swear I told him I have two kids and two jobs.  Was he not listening?  My regular doctor would never had suggested I rest, as she knew I would probably just hurt the muscle more from the laughing fit that followed.  Ok, I will pencil rest in somewhere between my time in Lunch Lady Land,  my night job waiting tables, the ten loads of laundry that need to be done, the lunches that need to be packed, the dinner that needs to be cooked, the carpets that need to be vacuumed, the homework that needs to be helped with and the other million things I do EVERY DAY!!!  I filled him in on what I thought of this idea of his and asked if I could just get some pills.  Unfortunately he seems to think pills will not help (I can think of a few that would help, but I guess I am not in enough pain for "those" pills).  After a bit of nagging he agreed to some muscle relaxers, but told me I could only take them when I went to bed.  What good is that?  Oh yeah, and I get to take Advil.  If Advil was working I wouldn't have been there in the first place.

Then this nice doctor "suggested" I take a few days off from work give the muscles a break.  I asked him if he would like to "suggest" to my mortgage company that I get a month off from my payment.  He seemed to get a kick out of that one.  But seriously, I am a lunch lady and a waitress, I don't get paid days off.  So tomorrow I will trudge on, make the kiddies lunch and head home (thankfully I don't have to wait tables tomorrow) and rest.  Oh wait, tomorrow is early release day, the kids are out early and they both have play dates.  Well, it's like they say, there will be plenty of time to rest when I am dead and at the rate I am going maybe I should pencil in the rest for then.